Sunday, November 4, 2007
1. Examine your motivation to help animals. Be willing to work on eliminating thoughts and beliefs which contribute to compassion fatigue and add those which prevent and heal it.
2. Remember to love yourself as much as you love the animals! Whatever your unique motivation to help animals, be sure it's balanced with loving yourself. If you don't take care of you, there will be little of quality left to give to the animals.
3. Honor yourself as one of the heroes who does some of the hardest and most important work done for animals in the world. Recognize and remember that in the complex, big picture of animal welfare issues you are part of the solution. You deserve and need to feel proud about what you are contributing.
4. Identify and work on healing your own painful life issues. Many of us are attracted to helping animals not only because we genuinely love them but because we also have been neglected, abandoned, or abused and it can be very fulfilling to help others who have been hurt like us. This is a commendable thing--but not if we avoid facing and healing our own pain. Sometimes we can even become addicted to helping in an unconscious quest to really heal ourselves. Don't be afraid to seek professional counseling, participate in a support group or other modes of healing. Sometimes we all need help processing overwhelming feelings or understanding and healing the hurts from our past, or need support to live with the horrors we sometimes see in this work. Seeking the help of a counselor when your heart is in pain is just as important as seeking the help of a doctor when your body is hurt.
5. Learn to protect yourself from others' emotional pain. We each have the capacity to feel and express deep compassion and empathy for animals and each other without taking on others' pain. We are less able to help when we take ownership of others' problems and pain because to do so takes so much energy. Let others have their own pain; use your energy to support and help them.
6. Accept your limitations - you can't save them all. No one person alone will change the overpopulation problem, find appropriate homes for every animal, or rescue every wild animal in distress. Yet together we can make a huge difference and change the world for the better, one animal at a time. When you feel overwhelmed or unable to do more, ask for help. Ask other people to help and, if it's in your belief system, pray.
7. Maintain a healthy and strong support system. Seek out people who share your values and nurture your growth. Cherish and enjoy your relationship with your own companion animals. Feel good about the love and home you provide for them.
8. Schedule time to simply relax and play! Cultivate interests, activities, and hobbies beyond your work. Shelter work is emotionally, physically, and spiritually taxing. Your deserve rejuvenation time - regularly!
9. Learn that strong emotions can be tolerated and need not be avoided. The work you do with and for animals is probably the most emotionally complex and exhausting work of any of the helping professions. Strong feelings of anger and rage, deep sorrow and anguish, and guilt are likely to be regular, returning experiences. Because of their strength and recurring nature, it's very, very important to learn ways to not merely temporarily cope and escape their intensity (though that's certainly healthy and necessary), but to learn to process these feelings and to release them. It's possible to live with these intense emotions without feeling overwhelmed or scared, or without stuffing and denying them. Feeling overwhelmed leads quickly to burnout, and denied feelings always come back later to haunt us. Find safe, comfortable, and appropriate ways to express your emotions:
~ Talk about your feelings with someone who will listen and not judge you.
~ Write your feelings_in a journal, in unsent letters, in poetry, articles, or in carefully thought out letters to the person or group with whom you're angry.
~ Draw your feelings_with paper and pen, with paints, with colored markers, etc.
~ When you're really angry express your anger through a safe "temporary stopgap" until it's released so you have the energy and calmness to explore it further.
When feeling overwhelmed by sadness or grief, know this is a normal response to the work you do, and know you will not always feel it. Temporarily contain your overwhelming feelings in your "safe place" where you can take them out to process when you have the energy and the support you need to do so.
It's natural for any of us experiencing overwhelming emotions to seek relief. Some of us may stretch out in front of the TV, go shopping, sleep, work out or take a walk. Sometimes, too, it's easy for people with on-going, unchanging pressure to turn to alcohol or drugs for needed relief. Be very, very careful about your consumption of addictive substances, including prescription drugs. If you believe you are currently addicted to any substance, reach out for help now. You deserve a whole, full life in return for your work for the animals, not one riddled with the pain of addiction.
10. Learn and practice effective interpersonal skills to help you communicate with people at every level of your organization, the public, and with other agency personnel. Though it's true that most people are in this field because they love animals, we still all have varying personalities which can be cause for conflict, and our values and philosophies about how numerous animal issues should be handled will never be identical. Sharing love for the animals does not in and of itself make people working for them get along or work productively together. If we ex pect others to hear and care about our ideas and concerns, we all have a responsibility to build skills in empathic listening, influencing, negotiating, supervising, handling conflicts and customer service.
11. Treat yourself to laughter! The heaviness of your work deserves to be balanced with humor and lightness. Watch those funny movies, laugh at your companion animals' antics, enjoy jokes with your colleagues. Enjoy your sense of humor...
12. Embrace your spirituality. Take time out from the stress of this work to connect with your spirit everyday. Clarify what it is that makes you feel in touch with your true spirit and do these things regularly. Whether it's prayer, meditation, being with your own companion animal, viewing wildlife, hugging your significant other, smelling roses, walking at the o cean, spiritual reading_you need and deserve to feel centered and whole. Find comfort, strength, and meaning in your own spiritual beliefs and practices.
Psychological approaches to stress management tend to be the ones that help us cope. Though coping is a necessary competency for daily living, to truly heal stress, to truly comes to terms with the deep pain of compassion fatigue, we need to be at peace in our own souls. We need to embrace our own spirituality and spiritual views, whatever they may be.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
I got some really good news today from my Doctor, and I just have to share it with everyone. :)
It all started around 6 months ago. When I had my physical, my Dr told me my blood pressure had gotten too high (180 somethin’ over 90 somethin’), and he wanted to put me on meds. I know those meds have some nasty side effects, so I talked him into letting me see if I could bring it down by taking some weight off, eating better and taking some natural products. He said he’d give me one month, and if it hadn’t gone down, I’d have to take the meds. :(
When I went back a month later, I had lost 10 lbs and my blood pressure was down to 140 over 80 somethin’. He said he figured all I had to do was loose some weight, and that’s what did it. I told him it might have also been the supplements I was taking... I don’t think he really thought they had anything to do with it.
Since then, I’ve continued to take my supplements- Pro-Argi9 Plus, Mistica and Core Greens, but my diet has gone to pot, and I’ve actually put back on the 10 lbs I lost, plus a few more.
So, when I went to a different Doctor this morning to have some more extensive testing done, I was afraid my blood pressure would be high because of my weight gain, and he’d see that my arteries would be chock full of bad plaque.
Surprise!!! My blood pressure has dropped even lower, and my cardio-plumbing is as clean as a 30 year old’s!!! I’m 52, by the way, over weight, stressed, eat better than I used to, but still like butter, ice cream and chocolates... oh heck, I love food, and the total extent of my exercise is a 20 minute walk every other day or so. The Doctor said if I could try to eat a more alkaline diet, walk every day and keep taking my supplements - especially the Pro-Argi9, I could restore my cardiovascular system to as healthy as a 20 year old’s. How cool is that!
Okay, that’s all I have to say... yippie! :) :) :)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I went to BJ’s today for Halloween candy, and ended up spending a total of over $200! It’s not unusual for me. While I was there, I picked up 10 lbs of wings and a rack of ribs for the Pat’s game on Sunday, Scoops and salsa, salad stuff, razors and deodorant, a pot roast, chicken tenders, cereal and bananas, a bunch of other stuff... oh yeah, and candy.
My husband kept saying, "Get the cheap candy, Tootsie Rolls and the like." So I did. I got a 5 lb bag of assorted Tootsies, 5 lbs of assorted hard candies, a bucket of Twizzlers and a box of granola bars. It wasn’t cheap. I also already have a stash of assorted mini candy bars... the good stuff... that I’ll keep hidden in case we run out of the other stuff... if we don’t, it’s mine!
After lunch, hubby broke into the Tootsies, and I went for the granola bars, the sweet & salty peanut kind. I don’t think I’ve had any since last Halloween, and I LOVE them. I wolfed the first one down, then took my time to savor the second one... mmmmmm. After that, I cleaned up after lunch, did a little internet surfing, answered a few emails... <yawn> and got a little sleepy. It was time for a nap. Zzzzzzz.
Two hours later, I wake up feeling like I have a gullet full of marbles... It was those peanuts, they were still there! I’ve heard of older people having trouble digesting nuts, but that can’t be the reason. Maybe I should have taken my time and chewed those peanut bars up a little better. Do you think the pharmaceutical companies will come up with a drug to fight peanut reflux?
Monday, October 29, 2007
We listened to it for most of the trip. Conversation was sparse, as the music played. I asked Cam if he knew who they were, he said it sounded familiar... I guessed it wasn't quite his type of music. If Archie had been there, he would have skipped thru a lot of it. I let the songs play in their order, and it was the first time I heard some of them all the way thru... I liked it.
After awhile, Cam had had enough, and he pulled out his mp3 player and headphones. I didn't want to be selfish, so I told him he could plug it into the radio (we were almost at the school, anyway, and I could reminisce about Archie another time). I didn't ask, but whoever he was listening to was more melodic, and less hardcore. I would have expected tougher music from a kid who poses as a Crip.